Study Shows Women Who Out-Earn Partners Are More Likely To Experience Intimate Partner Violence

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Study Shows Women Who Out-Earn Partners Are More Likely To Experience Intimate Partner Violence


Although women still prefer to date men of similar or higher social status, many are marrying men who are less educated and less wealthy. This has become more and more prevalent in recent years. Now, we’re starting to see the effects of this kind of pairing, causing an increase in males exhibiting controlling behavior, and physical and psychological abuse.

Disclaimer: By no means is this article intended to encourage women to be less successful in their careers due to their partner’s negative reaction to it. Rather, we want to understand the “why” behind this trend and offer potential solutions to help any woman in this situation.

Status Mismatch Increases Chances of Intimate Partner Violence

Around 21,000 women in 27 European countries took part in a study looking at the relationship between IPV (Intimate Partner Violence) and status mismatch in education or income. Researchers concluded that women who were higher educated or earned more than their partners were more likely to report all three types of IPV. This is controlling behavior, psychological IPV, and physical IPV.

Women who were higher educated or earned more than their partners were more likely to report all three types of IPV.

In the study, respondents were asked to answer a variety of questions concerning IPV. Some of the questions included the following: how often their current partner insists on knowing where they are (controlling behavior); how often their current partner belittled or humiliated them in front of other people (psychological IPV); and how often their current partner slapped them, threw a hard object, beat them with a fist, or a hard object (physical IPV).

The researchers attempted to identify whether there was a link between an increase in self-reported intimate partner violence and the context of the country they lived in – i.e. is intimate partner violence viewed as more acceptable in these countries and therefore influencing the results?

Although the study found that this does have some influence, it ultimately concluded that individual-level factors (education and income mismatch) weigh more than the societal context (views regarding gender ideology, crime rates, and acceptance of domestic violence).

Why Does Domestic Violence Occur When a Woman Out-Earns a Man?

One of the theories the study explores is resource theory. The author of this theory argues that men who want to have the most power within families can do this is by “using material resources that can control other family members.” However, when these men lack material resources, violence or the threat of violence is regularly used to obtain obedience and compliance.

The lower status man uses intimate partner violence as a way of asserting dominance.

During a discussion on The Mikhaila Peterson Podcast, PhD researcher William Costello, who wrote the first academic paper on the psychology on incels, explores why this may occur: “If you’re a man with a higher status mate who’s spending a lot of her time around other high-status males while you’re away from her, that gives you a cue that you might be inclined to lose her. And you actually might.”

The idea is that the lower status man uses intimate partner violence as a way of asserting dominance. Costello explores this further during the discussion by explaining a concept in evolutionary psychology called mate retention. “You have two tactics for mate retention. Benefit-provide – you can be a provision benefit, so those who have a lot of benefit to provide will choose that strategy. Whereas, if you don’t have a lot of benefit to provide, you’ll cost-inflict. You’ll apply cost-inflicting mate retention strategies, so you’ll make it so hard for the woman to leave.”

Essentially, when a man feels that their higher-status partner, who is probably spending more time around high-status men (because of their job, for example), may not be as reliant on them and doesn’t really need them, they need to do something to keep the woman and make it hard for her to leave. When they feel they may lose her, they become violent and dangerous.

Is There a Way To Solve Intimate Partner Violence Due to Status Mismatch?

The study explores a few ways IPV in Europe can be reduced. First, the study proposes normalizing families where the women have higher income or education. Second, it proposes “discouraging the use of violence as a legitimate way to manage social interaction within the family.”

A man may not be high status in the workplace, but he could be high status sexually, socially, in sports, etc.

However, Costello offers another solution. He explains that today, there are so many domains in which a person can create a higher status. A man may not be high status in the workplace, but he could be high status sexually, socially, in sports, or art, for example. Whatever it is, this can then be a pathway for both partners to view each other in a high-status light. As long as the man feels high status to some degree, this could be a way to heal the status mismatch in education or income and reduce the likelihood of intimate partner violence.

Unfortunately, computer games tend to be the go-to hobby for many modern men. Although there are some women who enjoy the computer gaming world too, the vast majority aren’t impressed by this. That’s why it’s important that men who have a lower status in education and income choose a skill or hobby that’s valued (like home improvement, for example). As previously stated, not only is it vital for the man to value the skill to consider themselves high status, it’s also vital the woman views her man this way too.

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